New Star Wars shows on Disney +

So, Disney just gave a huge peek at their upcoming Star Wars projects for Disney + and it’s honestly quite a lot to get through. Before I give my opinion I do want to be upfront and tell you that my favorite Star Wars movies are Episode V and Rogue One, and that the best piece of Star Wars visual media is Clone Wars. So, if hearing this makes you want to light me on fire, you probably won’t agree with what I’m about to say about these new projects.

Star Wars: Kenobi

Ok look Disney I get it, Billy Dee and Donald Glover are some smooth MFs and definitely the coolest brothers you ever put in space (Sorry Windu) but I don’t know a single person who wants this show. In all honesty I’m still pissed about how you jerked the blerd community around with Jon Boyega. Having the creator of Dear White People in charge isn’t a place of comfort either since he’s not exactly original. In all honesty I can’t think of a single direction you could take this that wouldn’t make the whole franchise retroactively more offensive. If this isn’t about that runaway trooper, I refuse to even watch the first episode.

Star Wars: Andor

Ok listen guys, you only got away with Rogue One because of years of memes, Donnie Yen, and getting to see a perspective that wasn’t a desert kid carrying a laser sword. Rogue One worked as a one-off, but building a whole series around it is completely insane. I’ll definitely watch the first episode, but I’m expecting disappointment.

Star Wars: Kenobi

No! This is a HORRIBLE idea ok? We know his story already. We saw all nine films, Clone Wars, and some people actually suffered through Star Wars: Rebels just to see him kill Darth Maul. You’ve squeezed every last drop of reasonable content out of this character. The only thing you have left to explain to me is how he lost the ability to use telekinesis, do backflips, or even use the lightsaber fighting style.

Star Wars: Ahsoka

So, I love Ahsoka Tano. She might be my favorite canon character in all of Star Wars. That being said, her story hasn’t made sense to me since she popped up in Mandalorian. How did we end up depending on a half-trained desert boy with a laser sword when Anakin’s apprentice is still running around. I genuinely believe she should’ve died in the fight against Vader in Rebels. Keeping her around, in my opinion, invalidates the original trilogy. I’m apprehensively looking forward to this series because maybe it will give me an explanation that makes sense and isn’t just a cash grab and a cheap cop-out.

Star Wars: The Bad Batch

This! This is gonna be good! I loved seeing this team in the Clone Wars series and following their adventures in the wake of Order 66 is genuinely interesting. It wouldn’t be hard to screw this up, but it’s highly unlikely they will. Waiting and buzzing with anticipation.

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